finding balance with the subtle shifts throughout the year...
When I was in grad school studying clinical psychology and planning my future as a psychotherapist, it felt like a big deal to decide what style of therapy I would practice once I was licensed. There were many to choose from: Cognitive Behavioral, Psychodynamic, Family Systems, and Narrative, to name a few. It felt like a pivotal decision that I had to get right. One day a professor shared that in his experience most therapists after 10 years all have a very similar methodology: Eclectic. He said that since each of those approaches has its own strengths, it is not necessary to stick to just one. Each patient is different, and what works for one won’t necessarily work for another. When you do something for a while, you begin to own it, and you no longer need to emulate someone else’s example. You take what works from all the brilliant ideas from the past, you make them your own, and you rework them based on who is sitting in front of you.
Ten years in, I see this playing out similarly in the homeschooling world.
Today, I would describe our family learning style, and the approach of most of my homeschooling friends, as Eclectic.
When we were starting out, I was a Waldorf-inspired homeschooler through and through. I was so enthralled by the Waldorf approach that I even did a three year teacher training on the weekends despite losing interest in entering the classroom early on in the program. At the beginning, I did it all: the circle times, the bread making, the puppetry and oral storytelling. I learned to knit, dye play silks and play the pentatonic flute. I made piles of toys and puppets out of felt and wooden pegs. I loved it. I loved how our home felt nature-filled, whimsical, and beautiful. I loved how eliminating media use with my kids resulted in a calmness and innocence that I was not seeing in more mainstream-educated children. I felt like I had struck gold. My daughter thrived in the soft and ethereal Waldorf world. My son was another story. I do not think our Waldorf focus hurt my son. I believe those years were nourishing on many levels for him, but it was clear that it was not hitting his sweet spot.
The more our lives intertwined with homeschooling the more comfortable I became with veering away from the Waldorf model and honoring the situation. My son needed sharper edges and minor chords. Over the years, I have grown to appreciate the balance, and feel like both my children benefit from not just sticking with one model of education.
I have seen this same progression play out with many of my friends, especially those with multiple-aged children.
I have also noticed a seasonal influence on this Eclectic approach to homeschooling. Some months feel more button-down. There is a unique feeling to the fall that works to our advantage every year. Fall energy in our home is productive and full of learning. That energy wanes, usually by mid-November, and we ride a more self-directed learning wave through the holiday months. Often we do a lot of diy projects, gift making, cooking and festival celebrating during this time. Our academic focus is secondary. After the new year, we gear back up, and we tend to be more structured again until spring.
Spring in Los Angeles is my favorite season to be in nature because it’s the only time we really have a lot of green. Since it’s short-lived, we become more like Forest Schoolers, prioritizing outside learning and adding more science and nature lessons. By May, the energy is usually so expansive that we are outdoors as much as possible and spend the time wrapping things up with recitals and end-of-school-year events with our co-op and other classes, like TaekwonDo and Spanish.
Summers are a mixed bag. I know many families who prioritize connection with friends and outside experiences throughout the year and then make up for it in summer by continuing to homeschool until they have covered all the areas they had hoped to for that school year. My family prefers to take summer vacation, and we usually take a two month break from organized lessons. This year, COVID confused everything, and when June arrived, my kids wanted to keep their school schedule going, so we did, though with a light touch. I think having a weekly routine feels extra nice for all of us right now. It gives a semblance of normalcy.
There are many ways to approach homeschooling, and choosing just one can feel doable and neat, but please be easy on yourself when it becomes clear that it is not working. Flexibility is essential because growing children are always changing. Being present in the moment will help you navigate developmental and seasonal shifts and embrace, rather than avoid, the necessary change.
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