When I tell people I homeschool my kids I never know what kind of assumptions they might make. It’s a loaded word. People have so many feelings wrapped up in their own school experiences, and this often manifests in both worry and defensiveness. Predominately well-meaning questions are inevitable. “Aren’t you worried about socialization?” Nope. “Aren’t you concerned they won’t be prepared academically?” Not at all. “Wow, what a commitment, how many hours do you spend a day teaching?” I don’t have a quick answer for that.
When I think of my role as a homeschooler, I don’t call it teaching. Our family school feels more like something we are all doing together, so it’s closer to co-learning. Last year, we studied Norse Mythology and the Viking era. It was something I knew nothing about. For months we immersed ourselves in the history and folklore. We read the Norse Myths aloud, we carved runes, we built a viking ship model, and I was there learning right along with my children.
How much time do we spend on this kind of learning?
I feel productive, homeschooling-wise, when my kids and I get about 2 hours of dedicated learning time in on “school days.”
Most of my homeschooling friends have a similar target, and like me, do not always hit it. Even when they do, It’s a leap of faith to imagine that a couple targeted hours a day at home could come close to the many hours a day at school. They have to see it to believe this truth:
Parents do not need to dedicate the entire day to teaching.
Although I was a successful student in several traditional school systems, including K-12, college, and grad school, my subsequent experiences made it easy for me to abandon the common expectation of the seven hour school day. First, I worked as a substitute elementary teacher in the Los Angeles School District getting first hand knowledge of how little of the school-day is actually spent learning. Later, I studied the Waldorf system, a pedagogy that touts the beauty of a rhythmic and rich 2 hour academic lesson and the importance of dedicating the rest of school time to what are considered equally worthy endeavors: music, movement, handwork, painting, and circus arts, to name a few. This helped loosen my understanding of what K - 8 learning could look like and contributed to my current peace around our 2 hour daily goal. Now, over ten years in, it is crystal clear that learning is ALWAYS happening. The two hour thing (which I confess is not always happening) is just the first act.
Two days a week, our homeschool plans take us outside for most of the day. Our outdoor co-op and nature day plans do involve various lessons or experiences, but we usually set aside 1-2 hours for that at the most. The majority of our time is spent on free play in the woods or at the beach. Traditional math and reading curriculum does not happen on those days. This does not mean we are ignoring academic skills, it just means that I know that those core skills are interwoven in all we do.
Some homeschoolers live by that mantra, and while I do love and find so much peace and wisdom in life learning and unschooling models, I am on the schoolish side. I like school supplies, curriculums , schedules, and plans, but I try not to take them too seriously. We work hard during our formal two hours, but I can say with confidence that our “school time” is the least important part of what my kids are learning on any given day. We cover the core subjects. I make sure my children learn the basics of math and language arts. We learn science and history in blocks. This is not always smooth. My daughter is usually eager to tackle whatever I assign while my son balks at anything he considers a waste of time (math worksheets!) It’s easier for me to insist that he stay on task when I know its only for a short while. After that, there are many hours of the day left to fill, I go do my thing, and they go do theirs. We come together sporadically, but there is nothing structured, and that is when the best of our homeschooling life emerges.
Without those hours of free exploration my son would not have been able to pursue his love of drawing comics and would not be distributing them proudly to friends and family. He would not have been able to develop a deep interest in the ins and outs of the aviation industry or to learn how to build multiple lego arcade games that actually work, or to make stop-motion animation shorts with his drawings and with Lego. My daughter would not have had time to lose herself in her rich inner life, her books, her journaling, her piano, and she might never have written her first movie script with her friend. None of the above were in our lesson plans for the year.
There are limits during this independent time. My kids cannot just go watch TV or play video games. With changes in our life due to Covid we have all been using screens more and learning how to find balance with that has been hard. I plan to write more soon on how crucial low media use has been for us on our homeschooling path and how we have been navigating this new and very slippery slope.
Like all parents, I can't help but worry, sometimes. Am I doing enough? Are my children being lazy? Should I be demanding more? That is where my own homework comes in. I revisit some of the core values that made homeschooling seem like a good choice for our family. This is a practice that most homeschoolers I know need to do from time to time. Societal pressure can whittle away at the convictions that brought us here, and upkeep is necessary.
Getting to a place where free play feels productive will look different to everyone, and it does not happen overnight. Be patient. Adjusting to a new learning culture will take time, but as the pressure around learning time minimizes and the joy expands, the free time will blossom.
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