Taking it slow...
When the schools shut down for Covid, and families were struggling to deal with the unexpected and unwanted frustrations of homeschooling, much of the anxiety could have been reduced if they had known about deschooling.
Deschooling is the unavoidable adjustment period needed to successfully make the transition from a traditional school setting to the home school.
As someone who chose to homeschool from the beginning, I’ve watched from the sideline as friends took their kids out of school to begin the homeschool journey, and those first few months at home were ROUGH. They had big dreams about diving into homeschooling.The build up was exciting.They researched, bought curriculum, made schedules, and picked a start date. Then day one came, and it was a disaster. The child was resistant, the parent felt deflated, and it all seemed impossible, like a huge scary mistake.
Pro Tip: Don’t panic. It will be ok.
The only mistake was not realizing what a difficult transition it is for children to adjust from the brick and mortar school system to a home learning environment. And deschooling wisdom states that the longer the child has been in school, the longer this transition will take. I know one family who spent their whole first homeschooling year in this phase.
Deschooling is necessary for both children and parents to adjust to a new culture of learning.
The first few months are a time to let go of formalized learning expectations and let your child reconnect with their natural love of learning.
Deschooling is a time for parents to authentically connect with their children’s interests, adjust their approach and begin to understand how a child learns: a time for parents to do their own work and re-evaluate their long-held beliefs about education.
Instead of worrying, you should use this time to do some homework. Learning about and understanding alternative educational models can help you let go of the stress around the fear that your child will fall behind academically, the worry that your child will become lazy, and the concern that you are not up to the task of homeschooling. Whenever I’m feeling bad about how little we may seem to be getting done, I google “unschooling” and heave a sigh of relief.
If you have any friends who are versed in alternative schooling, this is a great time to reach out to them for support. And when you do find a great article or Ted Talk to support this anxiety-lowering need that we all have, be sure to bookmark it for inevitably necessary future viewings.
I like to keep this one close, it’s a good place to start.
What this transitional time looks like will vary with every household. If your child is bored, then it might take some work on your part to reignite their connection to the world. Go on some outings. Talk with them about what they are into right now and help them go deeper into it. Find something they are excited about and embrace it. Comics? Go get a ton from the library. Get some How to Draw Comics resources. Airplanes? Help them find great documentaries. Wood work? Do research together, learn safety precautions and help them start a whittling project. No need to test whether or not they have retained any of the information during the deschooling period. This is a time to help all involved start rediscovering the joy of diving deeper, learning new skills, and rediscovering passions.
Allowing yourself to embrace this deschooling phase can strengthen your relationship to your children, pave the way toward more structured home learning, and bring peace to your home.
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